Personal musings. Views are my own.

Coming to a close

I leave Delhi the day after tomorrow. I go down to Kerala for four or five days, then fly back to the states at midnight on the 4th. Lessons learned? A month is a LOOOOOONG FREAKIN TIME. I thought a month would turn out to be a really short amount of time, cause I was initially trying to come out here for 2, maybe even three months if I could have swung it. But daaaaamn, I feel like I’ve been here FOREVER. This last four or five days, I think my brain hit ‘maximum capacity’ for what I can get out of my lessons with Khansahib, and slowly started turning off. I have soooo much to work on, and I can’t imagine picking any more up without spending a few months (like 24,00,000) working on what I already have, cause it’s a looooot. And it’s a little frustrating seeing Khansahib and only having made as much progress as I could possibly make in one day. After a while, there’s only so much he can give me before he gives me TOO MUCH. But I think a month is also too long because I feel like I have sooooo much time here, so it’s hard to stay motivated. Lately, my daily practice have been pickin back up, but a week ago, two weeks ago? It was almost impossible to get myself to sit with my sitar through the evening. I still did it, but I also made sure I knew what was on MTV India, and Cartoon Network (cartoons dubbed in Hindi are AWESOME). Lol. And finally, cause it’s really hard being away from my family and my friends for sooooo long. This is the first Christmas I’ve spent away from home, EVER. A few nights before, I treated Khansahib and his family to a take-home dinner of chicken and veggie pastries and this awesome fruit cake that Parveen Auntie really liked from this place called Wegners. But on the actual night of Christmas, I spent the night alone with my sitar, practicing Raag Kirwani (major C scale, with a flat third and sixth, sounds AWESOME).

I’ve also learned that although I like to think of myself as the type of person that can still pick up and do what I need to do regardless of how I feel, I’m TOTALLY NOT. When I feel shitty about stuff, no matter what it is, it’s like pulling teeth getting through my day. And all my vices come back to the surface–drinking soda (although I can’t blame myself TOO much for that, cause there are hardly many other alternatives for me here…), sleeping too much, hitting the power button on my television. Worthless. Lol, I say “vices” like I should be talking about a drug habit… but for me, those ARE my vices…

But I’ve also learning that if I feel strong about something, nothing’ll stop me from doing it. I mean, I AM here… I’m studying in India, getting by every day on my own, I’ve visited my parents home towns, visited my maasi, cause I was afraid I may not meet her before she passes away. I’ve eaten street food and NOT vomited. HELLO. That’s right, just down the street from my hotel, there’s this dude who runs a stand during lunchtime with three big vats of shaaks, and two guys making fresh naan and roti. All the riksha drivers are always eating there, so I decided to give it a shot. And much like the cab-driver joints I frequent in Chicago, shit was GOOOOOOODD. I had two naan, this thick curry with a piece of bajia in it, some daal makhani, and kala channa. For TEN RUPEES (that’s like, 25 cents, not even).

Anyway, ramble ramble ramble. But crazy, isn’t it? I’m gonna be back home in a WEEK. I leave for Kerala the day after tomorrow and spend a few days there, that’ll be sweeeeeeeet. It’ll be nice getting away from the cold, chilly nights of Delhi, away from the smooog smoooog smoooogg polluted air, and down to a place that’s warm, where things might actually be green, without the wash of brown that EVERYTHING in this city seems to have. (I’m bitching only cause I’m homesick. I do love this place)

Qida Hafeez.